In this month of November, the Pope’s prayer intention is to pray “that those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts may find the support, care and love they need in their community, and be open to the beauty of life”.
Suicide is something that is hard to talk about and yet, we are often faced with it. Someone we know or someone in our family may had died by suicide. Maybe we ourselves have had suicidal thoughts. It has been a reality from the beginning of time. As shared by Beyond Blue, “One in six people will feel suicidal at some time in their lives”.
Compassion, I believe is the key. We can look on those who have died by suicide with compassion, recognising the terrible hurt and pain they must had been suffering. We can be compassionate with those around us who feel that suicide is the only solution.
Prevention of suicide literature recommends that we ask the person, who looks or sounds like they have given up hope, if they are thinking of taking their own life. It might feel blunt, but to the person who has given up hope, it is a relief. Somebody knows, somebody understands. Suicidal thoughts will go away and no matter how intense they seem, we do not have to act on them. However, if trauma is the cause of suicidal ideation, where memories and feeling attached to the abuse keep being triggered, a trauma counsellor or psychologist is necessary.
The three things that will help a suicidal person are hope, connection and understanding. Hope will come with connection and understanding. Staying with a suicidal person is no easy task and this is recognised when the prayer intention for November ends with:
Help us take the hand of men and women of today when they have lost their sense of dignity and destiny.
We need courage to connect and stay connected with the suicidal person. We need to be patient and kind because it takes time to find the light at the end of the dark tunnel. We need to help them find a reason to live. A discussion on why the person is considering suicide and what is stopping them is very helpful in the short term. Considering who would miss them and who would they miss is a good discussion too.
It is also important that they have professional support from a counsellor, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist. A visit to the GP who can assess and refer is helpful and necessary.
Suicide prevention is about being there for the person rather than being judgemental. It’s about journeying with the person, and by your presence, letting them know that they matter and that their pain is acknowledged. It’s about showing them the light and giving them hope. As Desmond Tutu [1] says:
Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.
Let’s be that light for the suicidal person.
Kathleen Mooney rsj
[1] Quote obtained from ChatGPT: https://chatgpt.com/share/68db9aca-3eb4-8001-8044-5e08f437e944