We commemorate Global Forgiveness Day (7 July) with a reflection on forgiveness.
When people hear our story, they often ask us the same question: How could you forgive?
On 1 February 2020, our three beautiful children, Antony, Angelina and Sienna, and their cousin Veronique Sakr were killed by a drunk and drug-affected driver while walking together on a Sydney footpath. It was a tragedy that changed our lives forever.
In the days that followed, many expected us to be consumed by anger, bitterness and hatred.
We understood that we had a choice, we could allow unforgiveness to take hold of our hearts, or we could choose a different path.
For us, forgiveness was not about excusing what happened or pretending the pain did not exist. It was not about avoiding justice. Forgiveness was about refusing to allow hatred to have the final word.
Our Christian faith guided us in that decision. As followers of Jesus, we are called to forgive as we have been forgiven. We know this is not always easy. Forgiveness can be one of the hardest things a person will ever do. We have learned that forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a choice. Often, it is a choice that must be made again and again.
Choosing forgiveness did not remove our grief. We miss our children every single day. Forgiveness has allowed us to carry our loss without being weighed down by resentment. It has brought us peace and has enabled us to continue living with purpose and hope.
We are inspired by the example of Saint Mary MacKillop, who lived a life marked by humility, compassion and forgiveness. Despite experiencing misunderstanding, criticism and even excommunication, she remained steadfast in her faith and continued to respond with love. Her words, “Be full of forgiveness, hope and love”, remain as relevant today as they were when she first wrote them.
Another of her reflections speaks deeply to us: “Forgive and forget anything painful in the past. Begin once more in real earnestness.” While some wounds can never be forgotten, we can choose not to let them define us. We can choose to begin again, trusting God to carry what we cannot.
Through the work of the i4Give Foundation, we have had the privilege of sharing our message and hearing stories of forgiveness from people from all walks of life. We have seen that everyone carries some form of hurt, disappointment or loss. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it can transform the future.
Our hope is that our story encourages others to take even the smallest step towards forgiveness. Not because it is easy, but because it is freeing. In choosing forgiveness, we discover that healing becomes possible, hope is restored, and love remains stronger than hate.
As Saint Mary MacKillop reminded us, may we all strive to be full of forgiveness, hope and love.
Find out more about the i4Give Foundation and the work they do here.
Danny and Leila Abdallah